A Time for Every Purpose Prologue
by Im2xshy
Summary: This the prologue to my story A Time for Every Purpose. It takes place in chapter three of New Moon.


_**Not mine; no copyright infringement intended.**_

_**Okay, I know I'm kind of posting out of order, but I had been working on this and I might as well throw it up there now. I was going to wait until I was finished with the story to post it, but since it's a prologue and not an epilogue, well, the ship has sailed on posting it at the appropriate time anyway, right?**_

_**Thanks to my beta and pseudo-beta for taking a drive by of it first! You're the best!**_

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~Prologue~

EPOV

Rosalie follows me from room to room in a rage. My family, I think, was even more stunned by my request to leave Forks than they were when they discovered that I was in love with a human. Jasper and Alice were already gone. Carlisle simply nodded. He has been worrying over what to say to the hospital. He was concerned that they were going to start asking questions. Esme covered her mouth and closed her eyes, distraught over what she was considering to be the equivalent of the loss of yet another child.

Emmett, God love him, just shrugged and said, "I vote that we go back to New Hampshire. We haven't been there in about 40 years."

After that, everything was set in motion.

But Rosalie, Rosalie was not agreeable to any of it. She liked Forks. She liked the Pacific Northwest. She wasn't a fan of Bella and she was continuously annoyed by our family's apparent fascination with her, but she was willing to endure it to live somewhere that she liked.

"You can't do this, Edward. You can't demand that we accept her and then unilaterally take her away. Carlisle and Esme love her like a daughter, she's Alice's best friend, Emmett sees her like a little sister; this is no longer your decision alone to make. You can't just pluck her out of the human world and then put her back at your whim. She's not yours to control like that; she's not your pet."

"Jasper has banned himself to Alaska because of what happened."

"And he will come back when he's ready."

"I would think you, of all people Rosalie, would be rejoicing at the chance to be rid of Bella. You've been against my relationship with her from the start," I sneer. Rosalie will not be deterred. She growls low in her throat, tenses her entire body, and takes a step towards me. We're the only two left in the house. Alice has gone to join Jasper in Alaska, to try and convince him to come back to the family; Esme and Carlisle are already on their way to New Hampshire, and Emmett is hunting one last time before the trip. There's nobody here to stop me from putting Rosalie through the glass wall. The living room is already destroyed, what's a little more of a mess? It would be worth Esme's ire.

"_Before I smack you into the next decade, you imbecile, you listen to me. _You_ are not the center of everything. For decades, Carlisle and Esme have catered to your eccentricities. Carlisle is so scared that you're going to have one of your little temper tantrums and run off again, and Esme's afraid that you didn't cook long enough. But _you_ are not the only member of this family. Like it or not, there are more of us, and _some_ of us like it here. Not only that, just like you asked, everyone else in this family _loves_ her. So get your _head_ out of your_ ass_ and stop thinking__only of yourself."_

"Unlike _you_, dear sister, I am not thinking of myself. I am thinking of _her_. She is better off, _safer_, far away from us." Rosalie scoffs in response and my fingers curl into my palm forming a fist. My wrist twitches under the restraint it is taking to resist punching her between the eyes.

"Selfish!" she hisses.

"If you want your precious gilded mirror from your room, then you had better go and save it before I take it and smash it over your head!" I threaten in response.

Her eyes narrow and for a split second, she debates pouncing on me. Please, Rosalie, _please_ give me someone to take my aggression out on, but instead, the tension leaves her face, the fight drains from her and she whispers, "Please, Edward; please don't do this."

We stare at each other for a long moment and she keeps her thoughts blank. I can't see her pain though, or the pain of my family. All I see is Bella. All I see is what could have happened the other night; what _will_ likely happen in the future. It's foolish to ask any of my family to deny what they are. Rosalie is right, I _am_ selfish. I have selfishly convinced myself that I can keep Bella safe in my world. At the very least, I should have made her go to Jacksonville after her run-in with James. I should have accepted that for the wake-up call that it was. Instead, she started to cry and I gave in. She belongs to the human world; not to me.

For a split second the other night, Emmett had contemplated holding me back instead of Jasper. Not so that Jasper would kill Bella, but so that maybe, just maybe, he'd get a bite in, and that would have been that. Bella could have been transformed. Problem solved. Of course, then he remembered that I would probably just suck the venom out again, and I would have. My Bella is too good, too pure, to be damned with the rest of us.

Of course, she's no longer _my_ Bella, as she never should have been.

I step backwards away from Rosalie and launch myself out of the house. A string of profanities from her follows me. My dead heart gets heavier as I draw nearer to Bella's house. I beat her home; that tank of a truck takes forever. I park in Charlie's spot; he's thankfully not home yet. I lay my forearms across the steering wheel and rest my chin on them, staring aimlessly across the yard.

I will never come to this house again. My family may return to Forks, but I never will. I can say that with surety because I certainly will not return as long as Bella lives here and when she's gone…well, there will be no reason for me to continue to taint this world. My hope is that Bella will go to Jacksonville to live with her mother. She'll be back in the warmth and the sunshine, far away from here, and far away from me.

I drop my forehead to my arms, as despair swells up inside me, encompassing every fiber of my being. How could I have let it get this far? How could I have ever thought that I could keep her safe? How did I think that I deserved her? I do not even recall now how I justified that to myself. How arrogant I was, how blinded by self-importance. Each supernatural ability of mine she discovered with wonder made me more and more obsessed with impressing her more. Shame on me.

Shame on me for ruining that beautiful, perfect being. Shame on me for what I was about to do, for the blasphemy that I was prepared to bestow on both of us.

With dread, I see her truck approaching. I get out of the car as she pulls to a stop next to me. I try in vain to conjure the anger and loathing that I had felt for her when I first experienced her scent, but it would not come. It was forever gone.

This was not going to be easy.

Of course, I didn't deserve easy. Every falsehood that I was about to utter to her should pierce me like a sword and I should feel it over and over. It was the only way to ensure her protection. If you loved something, you were supposed to set it free, right? Humans changed; they forgot things, people, faces. She would forget me…eventually. I had already removed the reminders of me in her room and hidden them under her floorboards. I should have taken them away and burned them, but a stronger more selfish part of me thought that if I could just hide them where I knew she wouldn't find them, I could still be close to her. It was the arrogance of the monster, I knew that.

She looks wary. Afraid, but not physically afraid. She knows that something's been coming. I've been too quiet. I reach for her backpack and toss it back on the seat.

"Come for a walk with me." I keep my voice even, all emotion gone, but I still take her hand. I need to be connected to her one last time. I move along too fast for her, an unpleasant reminder of how different we are. I take her into the forest, to the place I've forbidden her to go. Why on Earth am I taking her in here? She'll never find her way out, so instead I stop just a few feet into the trees.

"Okay. Let's talk," she says before I can start. That's my girl, always confronting an unpleasant situation head on, gaining as much of the upper hand as she can. Unfortunately, she has no idea what is about to happen. How could she? She trusts me. Just like I wanted her to.

My stomach twists and I take a breath. It is best if I can't smell her now. It will help me get through this.

"Bella, we're leaving."

I watch as she tries to process that. "Why now? Another year --"

Here we go.

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

She doesn't understand. After all that I've said to her, I shouldn't expect her to either. She has taken me at my word and she cannot imagine me going back on it. I stare at her, masking my face with an expression of indifference. I've spent decades perfecting the skill of lying to humans. However, I have dropped my guard around her and it is necessary – essential – to build it back up now.

It doesn't take her long to realize what I'm saying. She misses nothing in the end.

"When you say, _we -_" It is barely a whisper. My fingers itch to reach for her; to tell her that _of course_ when I say 'we' I mean her as well; to assure her that I was keeping my promise to stay with her. But things have changed since I stupidly made that promise.

"I mean my family and myself." I say it slowly, deliberately.

She starts shaking her head, her gaze breaks from mine, so she misses my wince. Her heart accelerates and her breath starts to come up short. I am a monster; that I can shred my love so callously; that I could treat her with such ruthless indifference…

_Why_ couldn't I hear her thoughts? Why couldn't I determine how much longer I was going to inflict this hell on us? But that is my punishment in all this. I would never _really_ know what she thought.

"Okay. I'll come with you."

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going, it's not the right place for you." _Nowhere,_ within a thousand mile radius of me is good for you! You should have run when you had the chance! _I_ should have run when I had the chance. Of course, none of the fault for that can be laid at her feet.

"Wherever you are is the right place for me."

"I'm no good for you, Bella." Truer words were never spoken.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the very best part of my life."

What have I done here? I set out to seduce her; I did a wonderful job of it. My emotional prey so fell easily into my arms.

"My world is not for you."

"What happened with Jasper – that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"

"You're right. It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay --"

I don't like how upset she's getting. It's not good for her. How can I make her see reason and calm her down?

"As long as that was best for you," I reply.

"_No_! This is about my soul, isn't it?" she shouts; my kitten turns into a fierce tigress, fighting for what is hers. I am hers; I will always be hers. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already."

I look down at the ground, at the ants crawling over the dirt, so vulnerable beneath my foot. They are so disposable, carelessly crushed without their murderer ever being the wiser.

I know what I have to do; the only thing I can say to make sure that she stays behind. It's just so ridiculous. She'll never believe it.

"Bella, I don't _want_ you to come with me." What an absurd notion. I watch as each word pierces her heart, struggling to keep up my mask.

"You…don't…want me?" 'To be slaughtered' is the true end of that sentence.

"No."

I can feel the coldness of my body now. I am truly empty inside, devoid of any sort of humane emotions as the word hangs in the air between us. No, I don't want her to fall victim to the monster. I cannot let her be in this deep.

Shame on me.

"Well, that changes things." She nods calmly. What!? How could she believe that so quickly? Does she not know me at all? Fight, Bella! Why aren't you fighting me on this anymore! But this is what I deserve. This is where I atone for my sins.

And then, because I truly am a bastard, I pour salt into the wound, grind it in deeper. "Of course, I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…_tired_ of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human. I've let this go on for much too long and I'm sorry for that." She deserves at least some shred of the truth.

But I shouldn't have said it, because she sees a spark of hope in my words. Telling her I would always love her was a mistake. I do nothing but make mistakes with her it seems.

"Don't," she whispers desperately. "Don't do this."

There is only one more way to end this cleanly and that is to go in for the proverbial kill. I turn away from her. I can't see her eyes; if I look at her, I'll never be able to do it. I must take my words back. I am going to turn around and tell her that I do _not_ love her, that I do not want her, and that she is toxic to me. Break it off completely so she can move on. It does not matter what happens to me, only that she is safe.

"Please." The word is spoken so quietly, so weakly. Weak like she is. "_I need you._"

I turn back to her as she is slowly sinking to her knees, tears streaming down her face, and I am motionless. The painfully constructed wall is crumbling around me. I am _not_ strong enough.

She's shaking, choking on her gasping breaths, her heart rate is growing erratic. Dear God, I'm going to kill her. Leaving her will sentence her to death for sure. She's been exposed to my world and she's not strong enough to fight against it. She does need me. There are others who know that she is here. Am I really foolish enough to think that they won't come back? Especially after we've killed their leader?

She doesn't deserve to die like that. She should be old and gray, and have lived a full life. That is as it should be and the only way to ensure that is to make sure myself that nothing harms her. I can make sure that she doesn't come back to the house again. I can make sure that I am responsible for her not encountering anymore of our kind. I would hear them coming. The disgusting video from the ballet studio flashes through my mind. For the love of all that's holy, I have photographic evidence that she could not fight another one of us off. Am I that much of a monster that I would leave her open to having to try?

I realize with horror that she is not in control of the vital human function of breathing. She looks terrified. I put that look on her face.

"Bella, Bella, Love," I say anxiously falling to her side and taking her in my arms. "I'm here; I won't leave you. Please calm down." Who does this? Who toys with someone's emotions like this? One hand clutches the sleeve of my coat, the other my forearm. She clings to me like I'm her lifeline. I _am_ her lifeline. Right or wrong, I made myself her protector. She's come to rely on that, and I can't take it away.

"Bella, Bella, I'm sorry. Please, Bella, I'm so sorry," I ramble on like the lovesick fool I am, kissing her temple, stroking her hair, desperate to make her pain go away. Her vacant eyes show that she does not hear me. No doubt, she's imagining her life alone. "Bella, I love you. I love you so much, I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here with you."

I ease her into a sitting position, bending my right leg behind her and propping my left leg over her lap. I wrap my arms around her and cocoon her in a cage. Not even a fly will get by me now. I let her lean against my chest as her breathing slows, but she hasn't said a word.

Shit. I think I broke her.

"Bella, please forgive me. I don't want to live without you. I don't want to go one minute without you. I'm sorry. First James, then Jasper, I'm so terrified for you, Bella. I thought if I could leave that you might be safe. But I promise, Bella, I won't do it. I will not leave you unprotected. I swear I will make it my mission to ensure that no one ever has the opportunity to hurt you. I will keep you safe." When she doesn't respond, I dare to shake her a bit.

Minutes drag by before she finally shows some movement, some flicker of life, as she wipes her fingers across her cheeks. "Why?" she whispers. "Why do you want to go?"

"I don't want to go." My words are broken. "I was just…saying…that. I thought if I could make you think that I didn't want you, you would become angry or something and let me go without a fight. I won't go, just, please don't hate me."

"But you said…"

"I _lied_, Bella. The _only_ place on the planet that's right for me is with you. I'm terrified to my very core that I will become that comfortable again and forget that you need constant protection, even from my family." I run my fingers through her hair as her bloodshot, watery eyes, lock on mine, wide with wonder and fear. I drop my voice to a whisper. "You are so fragile, Bella. Being around me, it is so easy for you to get hurt or worse."

She takes a gulp of air before speaking again. "You keep trying to leave me."

That was gut-wrenching.

I deserve it.

"I won't try again, I swear. I know that you have no reason to believe me now, but I won't. I was so selfish when I drew you into this world, but I promise to protect you from it. Please don't be scared." I tighten my grip on her and I'm sure it will end up bruising her. It is clearly too late for me to continue to consider leaving her. Hateful creature that I am I'm already in much too deep, and it appears that I've dragged her in just as deeply.

She curls up against my chest, pressing her cheek against me and winding her arms around my waist. I breathe her scent in deeply, allowing the scorching thirst to roll down my throat. I turn my face and rest my cheek against the crown of her head.

What a mess I've made. I got just what I wanted; the unconditional love of this amazing girl. I am not human and I won't allow myself to forget that again with her, but nor will I hurt her again with my selfishness.

She pulls back from me and I let my eyes drift lazily over her face. My beautiful, beautiful Bella. Whether I deserve her or not, she _is_ mine. There is not much that is good about me, but what there is, is because of her. Only she could be so important that I would ostracize my family. They will surely think I'm crazy now, of course; and Rosalie will have gotten her way, which is a terrible precedent to set.

"Please forgive me for making you so upset," I beg.

She lays her hand against my cheek and I kiss her deliciously pulsing wrist. "Is this what you've been thinking about the past few days?" I nod. "Carlisle told me what you believe about your soul." I really wish he hadn't.

"It's not what I _believe_," I counter softly. "It's how it _is._" I turn my head into her hand as she runs her fingers through my hair. She can only make it look better by doing that.

"Edward, look at me," she orders and I obey. "No one who feels as intensely as you do could possibly be soulless. Do you understand?"

"You'll have to try harder than that to convince me, Love." I smile wryly. She blinks, taken aback by something. "What? What's wrong?"

"What did you call me?"

I think back over what I said. "I'm sorry. It just sort of slipped out. My father used to call my mother that, come to think of it."

She smiles. My radiant girl. "I like it."

"It's old fashioned," I laugh.

"So are you. As it turns out, I'm impressed by antiquity." She smiles mischievously, but I lose mine.

"You shouldn't be," I say softly. "Bella, what I just tried to do was hateful."

"No." She shakes her head firmly. "I could see you agonize over the last few days. I wish you would have talked to me about it."

"You are my life, Love. I promise not fail you. I will give you everything." She arches an adorable eyebrow at me and I can see what she is getting ready to ask for. "Everything except that." She is nothing if not determined, that's for sure. But I cannot think of changing her now. That is not a solution to anything. I will not destroy the most beautiful and genuine soul that I have ever encountered. I will not mar that perfection. She's just going to have to figure out a way to get past it.

She looks up into the trees. Its twilight and Charlie will be home soon. "You should get inside," I murmur.

Her eyes widen in alarm and she throws her arms around my neck in a panic. Look what I've done.

"Come in with me. Stay," she asks frantically and I cringe at the damage I've done. She doesn't trust me not to disappear.

I nod and gently lift her up off the forest floor. I can see now that it will not be easy to get her to sleep tonight.

I walk her back to the truck to get her backpack. She seems to have a little trouble walking. I grab her bag off the seat as she clutches my hand with both of hers. I will never upset her like that again. I will not break her heart and I _will_ make sure that she is protected from all outside harm.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I fish it out. Alice has sent me a text message.

"_We're coming home."_

She would have seen my decision not to go. Bella bites her lip and wrinkles her forehead as she watches me delete the message. She doesn't ask about it, but I decide to tell her anyway.

"Jasper and Alice are on their way home."

She smiles widely and I can't help but smile in return. "You'll tell Jasper that I'm not mad, right? You'll make sure that he knows."

"Alice and I already did," I reply. "He's not as easily forgiving of himself though."

"I'd like to tell him," she unsurprisingly announces.

"Of course you do." I roll my eyes. She wants to comfort the vampire who tried to kill her.

Only my love.


End file.
